I am 23 weeks pregnant, on modified bed rest for pain and I have a very active, very imaginative and very demanding 3 year old. Yet, some how I manage to keep my self sane and keep my kid happy. This is not an easy task, I do it with a loving husband, supportive family (who lets me vent) and a team of doctors/professional who help manage my pain levels and give me encouragement.
How do I coupe alone at home?
As I am restricted to bed about 75% of the time, and that time is quickly increasing as I am reaching my third trimester. I have found ways to coupe at home to keep me and my preschooler happy. First off, I do get up when absolutely nessasary, such as to go potty, refill our drinks and to prepair actual meals. Second, I bring to me what is going to be needed so I can limit my time up.
By my bedside I have a stash of non perishable goods like apple sauce, fruit snacks, individually wrapped crackers, etc. I also keep clean utensils, a garbage and dirty dish bin. As they get full, I take them to their proper places on one of my up trips, or my husband takes them after he gets home.
I also keep by my bedside: games, coloring book and crayons, flash cards, toys and other things to keep my son entertained. Yes at times, I do allow tv but try to keep it in moderation, and educational. We always turn the show into a game when we are done watching. Thankfully, he is into things that are all about letters and learning to read.
I also keep things to keep me entertained, such as magazines, books, crocheting etc.
I am also blessed with a live in relative, my brother. He goes to school most days of the week and soon school will be all he does, but on his days off, he is kind and allows me to nap if I need to. I still take the brunt of the work with my son, but he gives me a break and does mild house work and kid care 🙂
How I do Outings:
I have one day a week, where I will go out (for my sanity and to run errands). My son and I go to lunch, and pick one errand to do. I try to keep it under 2 hours, or I am in too much pain to do much the rest of the day. I also have one – two days a week I go to Physical Therapy, or Chiropractic appointments, and once a month Midwife appointment.
On weekends, if I feel so bold, I may visit a friend or family member, my husband drives and the people I visit make sure I have a proper place to lay or sit as I need.
My husband is very supportive. After 8 hours at work and bus rides to and from (about 90 min each way) my husband takes the reigns, does any errands I couldn’t do with our son, takes our son to the park etc. My husband makes the time between when he gets home and our sons bed time all about our son, so his needs are met (It is too much for a 3 year old to understand this all, and what he does get upsets him, so we make it happy as possible). After my son goes to bed, my husband and I get alone time, which is normally spent chatting, or watching tv and cuddling.
Honestly, my house is a mess, with me on bed rest, my husband working and taking long commutes, and my brother in school most days of the week and our main focus is making the transition to brotherhood with a “broken” mommy a joyous one, house keeping is not a priority.
We do dishes nightly, take out our trash as needed, clean our laundry as needed (90% of the time it is clean but on the couch) and make sure the floors are cleaned (mostly) and maybe once a week sort our toy bin….ok listing it makes it seem like I do a lot… but when it was just me at home with my son, these things got done daily, not occasionally and we didn’t have piles of stuff that could wait til “later”
I guess I coupe with common sense, planning and an attempt at organization. So far it is working for us, it is stressful, tiring and sometimes can make me depressed, but we are managing and in my opinion managing well. I can’t wait for my baby girl to be born (Oh yes, its a girl by the way) and I can get my life back to normal as it will get with a new, growing, exploring baby, and a very active, imaginative and creative preschooler.